I feel a little nostalgic this Christmas season. All the signs of the season are there -- the Christmas trees and the decorations on the streets, in the stores and in people's homes. The parties and celebrations and planned family reunions. But there's something missing. I think it could be what I call the “spirit of Christmas innocence.”

I know we should not lose sight of the fact that the real meaning of Christmas for Catholics around the world is the birth of Jesus Christ, Son of God, who came to save our souls. But there's no question that the whole ritual of gift exchange is a huge part of it. Luckily for retailers, in spite of the global economic crisis the malls are full of people trying to pick the best gift for the right person.

I've gone through the process myself, and finished my Christmas shopping quite early. I love giving, I really do. But this year I did not get the same satisfaction out of my Christmas shopping that I've gotten in the past. To me, Christmas is for kids. There is nothing like the excitement on a child's face when he or she opens the presents Santa Claus left under the tree. But when kids start growing up and notice that they get gifts regardless of whether they are naughty or nice, that's it -- they lose that Christmas innocence.

This is the first year that my youngest daughter didn't write a letter to Santa Claus. She's 12 years old, so it shouldn't surprise me. I don't know when it was, exactly, that she began to doubt Santa's existence. Up to last year, she would still write the letter to old St. Nick with her wish list, and we would take it to the big Santa mailbox in the park. Thank God she never noticed I made a copy of it and hid it in the drawer. I should have noticed something was not right when her gift preferences changed from toys to more sophisticated items.

I mean, what kind of Santa's workshop could she think would be making iPhones and iPods, or Tory Burch jelly flats in yellow? I wonder if she really believed that Santa would bring jewelry in his bag down the chimney, and that there is a debit-card-printing machine in the North Pole.

In all honesty, I might have contributed to the holiday confusion. In our home we have a ritual where the family members exchange gifts on Christmas Eve, then the kids go to sleep and the next morning they find the gifts from Santa under the tree, the fireplace gate slightly moved and a plate with half-eaten cookies.

I would always buy a different wrapping paper for Santa's gifts and hide it in the closet so they wouldn't get suspicious. Besides the letter for Santa, I'd ask my girls to make a list of gifts they'd like to receive from the family. I guess they finally figured out the gifts from Mom are better than Santa's, so why bother.

Times have changed. When I was a little girl around 12, I would get dolls for Christmas, a tea set or little clay dishes and pots to cook up pretend banquets. I never dreamed of asking for sophisticated electronic equipment or designer merchandise. But then again, we are now living in a consumer world, and kids are becoming more and more materialistic. And of course we as parents feel that we want to give our kids what we didn't have if we can afford it, and for some even if it means sacrificing.

I sure miss the days when the spirit of Christmas innocence was still around. This year my daughter wants a Blackberry to replace her iPhone, which she now considers outdated. If I thought I could convince her that Santa does exist and that she can instant-message him her wish list, I just might fall for it.

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(Maria Elena Salinas is the author of “I AM MY FATHER'S DAUGHTER: LIVING A LIFE WITHOUT SECRETS.” Reach her at www .mariaesalinas.com)

© 2009 by Maria Elena Salinas

Distributed by King Features Syndicate